Separations are, for the most part, very challenging. When we're going through a break-up, we tend to experience a wide range of different emotions in a short period. Meanwhile, the separation itself and the "moving on" process can look slightly different for both involved.
One thing's for sure, even in the midst of a difficult time in life, coming home should be one of life's little pleasures. You deserve to have a space that's yours, somewhere that feels like you can rebuild your life, find yourself again, and move forward. If this situation resembles yours, here are a few tips and suggestions that made all the difference for me, helping to ease the process of getting separated and finding comfort in my new setting.
Life after splitting up
First, ask yourself if you're still comfortable living in the same space you shared. Do you look forward to being in this space at the end of the workday? Does spending most of your time there still feel right? Your home should feel like a security blanket, so it's necessary that being in the space evokes a positive vibe. For me, I couldn't see myself staying in the same home and picking up the pieces of my life there. The decision was easy to make. Once I was ready to move on and move out, I put up the "for sale" sign and headed back to my hometown, where all my friends and family lived.
Choosing to move
Leaving your current residence is not a decision to be taken lightly. It requires time, takes up energy, and the costs add up. In such a situation, being well-surrounded and organized makes all the difference. In my opinion, having a plan of action in place is the most concrete step towards a new beginning. The idea here is to go at your own pace and take the time to listen to yourself to find your new home.
In my case, I opted for new home construction, but keep in mind that it's also possible to buy an existing property on the market. After analyzing my budget, I was able to move forward with this project, and it turns out this was one of the best decisions that I've ever made for myself. Starting fresh got my mind off the split quickly, and at the same time, I was able to put my energy into doing something I loved: decorating and designing!
What next?
I was dreading the moment of finally moving into my new home. There was some anxiety knowing that a chapter of my life was coming to an end—for good. But instead, the opposite happened: I found myself better than ever, and I've never felt more comfortable. This was when I knew I was in the right place.
One aspect that helped me immensely was that I decided to live in a completely different style from my old house, especially the kitchen. It may not seem like a big deal to some, but being in a new place can be the change you need to heal from a significant life event. You don't have to buy everything new—maybe pick up a new light fixture, picture frames, or accent chair, and you'll feel better in your new space. What's most important is getting rid of anything that may remind you of the former relationship. When visiting a house, make sure you use your imagination to visualize the new décor you'd like to see—and try to block out the current homeowner's decor, if necessary.
Whether you decide to move out or want to make changes to the space you're in, the importance of feeling good in your area cannot be overstated. Consider this when living through something serious because our home is truly where the heart is, as the saying goes.
